If you like jokes that are silly, surprising, and a little bit bold, deez nuts jokes are just what you need. These jokes start off sounding normal, but they end with a funny and unexpected twist that usually makes people laugh—or groan! They became popular through the internet and are often used to play harmless pranks on friends. The best part is how sneaky and clever the setup can be.
Deez Nuts Jokes
Have you heard about the new artist “Dee”?
Deez nuts just dropped a masterpiece!
I’m thinking of getting into farming. Maybe start with almonds.
Or just harvest Deez nuts!
Did you study the anatomy chapter on glands?
‘Cause you forgot Deez nuts!
You like reading books by Dee Licious?
Try reading Deez nuts instead!
Have you met my cousin Candice?
Candice fit in your mouth like Deez nuts?
I’m starting a new diet. It’s rich in protein.
Main ingredient? Deez nuts!
You hear about that guy who went missing near Dee Lake?
They found Deez nuts floating!
I’m learning a new language — it’s called Deespanol.
I’m fluent in Deez nuts!
I saw your name on the list right below Dee Shawn.
You’re right under Deez nuts!
Have you played that new mobile game called “Catch Dee”?
All you catch are Deez nuts!
My dog ran away chasing a squirrel named Dee.
Now he’s lost in Deez nuts territory!
Are you subscribed to that cooking blog by Dee Zerts?
They serve a special dish — Deez nuts surprise!
I’m writing a poem about Dee’s journey.
It ends with Deez nuts in glory!
Did you meet my friend Dee Nial?
He never accepts Deez nuts as real!
I heard your favorite rapper is Dee Zaster.
He drops bars about Deez nuts!
My math teacher said I forgot Dee variable.
Turns out, it was Deez nuts all along!
You know that actor Dee Niro?
He starred in “The Rise of Deez Nuts”!
Your phone bill has extra charges from Dee Mobile.
Better check — it’s for Deez nuts streaming!
I joined a new workout class by Dee Trainer.
We lift weights… and Deez nuts!
I’m starting a fashion brand called “Dee Luxe.”
The signature item? Deez nuts bags!
You been watching the Dee Tour biking event?
Cycling around Deez nuts for miles!
I got an award from Dee Institute.
For my research on Deez nuts!
I’m learning kung fu from Master Dee.
My final move is Deez nuts strike!
I met this girl named Dee Lightful.
She was full of Deez nuts jokes!
Did you see that bird from Dee Amazon?
It nests in Deez nuts!
I bought cologne by Dee Essence.
Smells just like roasted Deez nuts!
I installed an update from Dee Systems.
Now my PC runs on Deez nuts!
Good Deez Nuts Jokes
What did you plant in your backyard?
Deez Nuts, it’s a nut garden now.
What was on the secret menu?
A double scoop of Deez Nuts.
Who called you last night?
Some guy asking about Deez Nuts.
What’s your new startup about?
We’re revolutionizing snacks with Deez Nuts.
What fell out of your bag?
Oh, just Deez Nuts rolling away.
What did the squirrel bring for lunch?
A whole pack of Deez Nuts.
What did your GPS say?
“In 300 feet, turn right onto Deez Nuts Lane.”
What did you find in the treasure chest?
A golden bag of Deez Nuts.
What are you allergic to?
Everything but Deez Nuts.
What do you bring to every party?
A big bowl of Deez Nuts.
What’s the Wi-Fi name?
“Connect to Deez_Nuts_Network.”
What’s trending on social media today?
A viral dance called the Deez Nuts Shuffle.
Who’s performing at the concert tonight?
DJ Deez Nuts on the main stage.
What’s the password to get in?
It’s “ILoveDeezNuts.”
What did your fortune cookie say?
Big success is coming… from Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite energy snack?
Can’t beat Deez Nuts on the go.
Who won the cooking contest?
Chef Deez Nuts with his roasted masterpiece.
What’s your favorite horror movie?
“Attack of Deez Nuts.”
What’s your dog’s name again?
Sir Bark-a-Lot of Deez Nuts.
What did you name your boat?
“The Legend of Deez Nuts.”
What’s your new business called?
Deez Nuts & Co.—a crunchy experience.
What’s your gamer tag?
Call me “KingOfDeezNuts.”
What flavor did you choose?
I went with salted Deez Nuts.
What’s on the school lunch menu today?
Spaghetti and a surprise side of Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite cryptocurrency?
I invest only in DeezNutsCoin.
What did your boss give you for a bonus?
A branded box of Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite band?
Deez Nuts and the Crunchy Beats.
Where are you going on vacation?
To the Island of Deez Nuts.
Who do you trust the most?
Only Deez Nuts got my back.
What’s your next tattoo going to say?
“In Deez Nuts We Trust.”
What’s hiding behind the curtain?
A life-size statue of Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite bedtime story?
“The Adventures of Deez Nuts.”
What’s that smell in the kitchen?
Freshly baked Deez Nuts.
What did you find in your cereal box?
A surprise toy and Deez Nuts.
What’s the answer to this riddle?
The punchline is always Deez Nuts.
Who’s your financial advisor?
Mr. Deez N. Uts from Wall Street.
Why are you smiling?
Just remembered a joke about Deez Nuts.
What did you hear on the radio?
Breaking news about Deez Nuts.
Best Deez Nuts Jokes
What’s your favorite plant in the garden?
Deez Nuts trees — they bloom every spring!
Why did you fail the math test?
I couldn’t solve for X, but I found Deez Nuts.
Heard about the new coffee shop?
Yeah, it’s called Brewed With Deez Nuts.
What did you find inside the mystery box?
A glittery bag of Deez Nuts.
Why did the squirrel get promoted?
He’s been hustling Deez Nuts nonstop.
What’s your new skincare routine?
Organic oil from Deez Nuts.
What did the chef add to the soup?
A bold pinch of Deez Nuts.
Why was the computer acting weird?
It got overloaded with Deez Nuts downloads.
What’s your gamer tag again?
I go by “Master of Deez Nuts.”
Who won the election?
Candidate Deez Nuts by a landslide.
What’s the newest book on your shelf?
The Rise and Fall of Deez Nuts.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get a taste of Deez Nuts.
What’s your top investing tip?
Put everything into DeezNutsCoin — trust the process.
What’s on the school lunch menu?
Grilled cheese and Deez Nuts.
Where’s the party this weekend?
At Club Deez Nuts — VIP only.
What’s the new flavor of soda?
Fizzin’ Deez Nuts — limited edition.
What’s the theme of your birthday party?
Nuts about Deez.
Where did you go for your spa day?
Relax & Rejuvenate with Deez Nuts.
Why were you late to work?
I tripped over Deez Nuts in the driveway.
What’s the name of your new band?
The Funky Deez & Nuts.
What do astronauts eat in space?
Freeze-dried Deez Nuts.
What’s that delicious smell?
Mom’s baking Deez Nuts pie again.
Who’s your favorite Greek philosopher?
Socrates? Nah, I follow Deeznoticles.
What’s the new reality show on TV?
Keeping Up with Deez Nuts.
Why are squirrels always in your yard?
They’re obsessed with Deez Nuts storage.
What’s the password to the Wi-Fi?
Connect4DeezNuts.
What’s your new cologne called?
Essence of Deez Nuts — smells bold and brave.
Why are aliens visiting Earth?
They’ve heard about Deez Nuts and want in.
What’s your favorite holiday?
National Roast Deez Nuts Day.
Where do pirates store their treasure?
In the chest of Deez Nuts.
What do you bring to Thanksgiving dinner?
A hearty serving of Deez Nuts stuffing.
Why are birds singing outside your window?
They’re chirping the song of Deez Nuts.
What did your fortune cookie say?
“Prosperity begins with Deez Nuts.”
What’s your top-selling eBook?
Manifesting Millions with Deez Nuts.
Why did you get detention?
I answered every test question with Deez Nuts.
Deez Nuts Funny
What’s your favorite fruit from the jungle?
You wouldn’t believe it — Deez Nuts!
Why was the squirrel at the drive-thru?
He was picking up Deez Nuts to-go.
You said you’re learning French?
Oui oui… Je m’appelle Deez Nuts.
What did the therapist suggest for stress relief?
Deep breathing and thinking about Deez Nuts.
Heard they’re doing a reboot of The Avengers?
Yeah, it stars Iron Man and Deez Nuts.
What do you call a romantic snack?
Chocolate-covered Deez Nuts.
Why don’t astronauts eat peanuts in space?
Because they only trust Deez Nuts.
You’re doing stand-up comedy now?
Yeah, my set is just 10 minutes of Deez Nuts.
What’s trending in fashion this year?
Chunky sneakers and Deez Nuts.
Why did the student get expelled?
He wrote an essay titled “The History of Deez Nuts.”
What’s your favorite fast food deal?
The 2-for-1 Deez Nuts Combo.
What did the alien say when it landed?
“Take me to Deez Nuts.”
Why are you always smiling?
I’m just thinking about Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite motivational quote?
“Stay strong, stay focused, trust Deez Nuts.”
What’s your go-to pickup line?
“Hey girl, you ever heard of Deez Nuts?”
What did you name your pet hamster?
Sir Nibbles of Deez Nuts.
Why don’t you eat trail mix anymore?
It reminds me too much of Deez Nuts.
Where do you go for peace and quiet?
The Temple of Deez Nuts.
What’s your rap name?
Lil’ Deez on the beat.
What did the squirrel say on his podcast?
“Welcome back to Nut Talk with Deez Nuts!”
What’s your new favorite ice cream topping?
Salted caramel and crushed Deez Nuts.
Why was your dog barking at the cabinet?
He smelled Deez Nuts inside.
What do you call a nut that tells jokes?
A stand-up Deez Nut.
Who’s the newest contestant on The Bachelor?
None other than Mr. Deez Nuts.
What did you bring to the company potluck?
My famous honey-glazed Deez Nuts.
Why did your phone autocorrect everything?
It’s possessed by Deez Nuts.
What’s your favorite conspiracy theory?
That the moon landing was staged by Deez Nuts.
What do you call a book full of jokes?
“The Big Book of Deez Nuts.”
Why did your grandma get a tattoo?
She wanted “Deez Nuts 4 Life” on her arm.
What’s your favorite bedtime story?
“The Little Squirrel and Deez Nuts.”
Why did you get kicked out of science class?
I labeled every cell part as Deez Nuts.
What’s your new YouTube channel about?
Unboxing Deez Nuts — new episode every Friday.
What’s your favorite workout?
Lunges… toward Deez Nuts.
Why are you wearing that fancy suit?
Got a date with Deez Nuts.
Where are you going for spring break?
Cancún? Nah — I’m headed to Deez Nuts Island.
What did the chef say after tasting the sauce?
“Needs more Deez Nuts.”
What was the best part of your vacation?
The hotel minibar — full of Deez Nuts.
What’s your business motto?
“In Deez Nuts We Trust.”
Why did your alarm go off at 3am?
To remind me about Deez Nuts.
Nut Jokes
Why don’t nuts ever get lost?
Because they always follow their shell-GPS!
What’s a nut’s favorite horror movie?
The Silence of the Almonds.
Why did the peanut go to therapy?
It had shell-esteem issues.
What did the walnut say on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m nuts about you!”
Why don’t cashews make good spies?
Because they always crack under pressure.
What do you call a nut that’s into fashion?
A pistachio-nista!
How do squirrels pay for groceries?
With their nut-worth.
What’s a nut’s favorite game?
Hide and sneak!
Why was the hazelnut always late?
It kept getting stuck in traffic jams.
Why did the chestnut start a podcast?
To share its “hard shell” opinions.
Why do nuts hate arguments?
Because they always get roasted.
What kind of music do macadamias listen to?
Soft rock… with a crunchy beat.
How do nuts stay in shape?
They do crunches!
What did one peanut say to the other in a race?
“I’m gonna shell-shock you!”
What’s a nut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Nutcracker Suite.
What kind of nut is always calm?
A chill-cashew.
What did the nut say to the cookie?
“Thanks for letting me chip in!”
What did the walnut say during karaoke night?
“I was born to shell out some tunes!”
Why did the nut take a nap?
It was totally shelled-out.
What do you call a sneaky nut?
An under-cover cashew.
What’s a nut’s favorite exercise?
Shell-ups!
What happened when the peanut ran for president?
It won by a crunch margin.
Why did the acorn blush?
Because it saw the chestnut cracking up.
Why did the hazelnut fail the test?
It cracked under pressure.
What do nuts do in their free time?
Hang out and roast each other.
Why was the almond acting so dramatic?
Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
What did the walnut say after a big win?
“I’m totally nutorious!”
Why did the peanut get invited to every party?
It was the life of the shell-ebration.
What’s a nut’s favorite social media app?
In-shell-gram.
Why did the cashew get a promotion?
Because it was truly nuts-and-bolts reliable.
What did the pistachio say to cheer up its friend?
“Don’t worry — things will crack open soon!”
Why don’t nuts ever brag?
They prefer to stay humble and shelled.
Dragon Deez Nuts
Have you seen that new fantasy movie?
Yeah, it’s called How to Train Deez Nuts.
What’s a dragon’s favorite snack?
Fire-roasted Deez Nuts.
What did the dragon say before attacking?
“Prepare to be scorched by Deez Nuts!”
What’s the name of the dragon in that game?
Sir Blaze of Deez Nuts.
Why did the knight quit his quest?
He couldn’t handle Deez Nuts breathing down his neck.
What do dragons hoard in their caves?
Gold, gems, and Deez Nuts.
Why did the dragon enroll in anger management?
Because Deez Nuts kept getting him fired up.
What’s the hottest trend in dragon fashion?
Scales and Deez Nuts embroidery.
You hear about the dragon that went vegan?
He only eats roasted veggies and Deez Nuts.
What’s the dragon’s favorite game?
Dungeons & Deez Nuts.
Who’s the dragon’s favorite rapper?
Lil’ Flame & Deez Nuts.
What’s the name of the dragon’s band?
Firestorm featuring Deez Nuts.
What do dragons dream about?
Flying high with Deez Nuts.
What’s the dragon’s Wi-Fi password?
FlyWithDeezNuts2025.
Why don’t dragons ever eat squirrels?
Because they’re already full of Deez Nuts.
Where do dragons go for vacation?
To the Volcano of Deez Nuts.
What kind of books do dragons read?
Fantasy tales of Deez Nuts conquering kingdoms.
Why was the dragon expelled from school?
He scorched the cafeteria with Deez Nuts jokes.
What did the dragon name his treasure chest?
Vault of Deez Nuts.
What did the princess scream from the tower?
“Send help… and Deez Nuts!”
How do you tame a wild dragon?
With a leash made of Deez Nuts.
What’s the dragon’s battle cry?
“For glory, fire, and Deez Nuts!”
What’s the dragon’s favorite workout?
Fire-breathing crunches with Deez Nuts.
What happened at DragonCon this year?
They unveiled a new cosplay of Deez Nuts.
Why are dragons always sleepy?
Too many nights guarding Deez Nuts.
What’s the dragon’s go-to pickup line?
“Care for a ride on Deez Nuts?”
What do baby dragons play with?
Plushies shaped like Deez Nuts.
What’s the dragon’s favorite cereal?
Flamin’ Deez Nuts O’s.
Why don’t dragons ever lose at poker?
They always bluff with Deez Nuts.
What song makes every dragon dance?
“Drop It Like Deez Nuts.”
What do dragons put on their pancakes?
Molten syrup and crushed Deez Nuts.
Who won the great dragon tournament?
Champion Deez Nuts, undefeated since Year 999.
Why did the villagers panic?
A wild dragon was seen flying low… yelling “Deez Nuts!”
Best Deez Nuts Setup
Did you hear about that new artist, Candice?
(Candice who?) Can Deez Nuts fit in your mouth?
Are you going to the grand opening of Sugondese Mall?
(Sugondese?) Suck on Deez Nuts!
Have you played the new game “Grabahan”?
(What’s Grabahan?) Grab-a-handful-of-Deez-Nuts!
You ever travel through the land of Bofa?
(What’s Bofa?) Bofa Deez Nuts!
Have you read that ancient myth about Sawcon?
(Sawcon what?) Sawcon Deez Nuts!
I just downloaded the new app called Bofinia.
(Bofinia?) Both-in-ya-mouth — Deez Nuts!
Are you going to the concert by Sugma & Band?
(Sugma?) Suck on Deez Nuts!
Did you meet the new professor, Imagine?
(Imagine who?) Imagine Deez Nuts in your face!
Have you signed up for the new course at Updog University?
(What’s Updog?) Not much — what’s up with Deez Nuts?
Did you hear that we’re getting invaded by Grabahan soldiers?
(Grabahan?) Grab-a-handful-of-Deez-Nuts!
Do you know what Sugma stands for in Latin?
(Sugma?) Suck on Deez Nuts!
Have you visited the capital of Ligma yet?
(Ligma?) Lick Deez Nuts — it’s a real place!
You know that band Imagine Dragons?
(Yeah?) Imagine draggin’ Deez Nuts across your face!
Did you see the announcement about the Sawcon Festival?
(Sawcon?) Sawcon Deez Nuts!
Have you played the new video game, “Grabaknee”?
(Grabaknee?) Grab-a-knee and rest Deez Nuts on it!
Have you ever been to Bofarnia?
(Bofarnia?) Bofa Deez Nuts on your chin!
I just got a job with Sugandese Logistics.
(Sugandese?) Suck on Deez Nuts, express shipping!
Did you see the new comic character, Dr. Draghan?
(Dr. Draghan?) Drag-on Deez Nuts!
Have you met the twins, Ligma and Sugma?
(Who?) Lick ‘n’ Suck Deez Nuts!
Are you familiar with Professor Grabaham?
(Grabaham?) Grab-a-handful-of-Deez-Nuts during lecture!
Heard of that athlete Bofa Jenson?
(Bofa?) Bofa Deez Nuts won the gold!
Have you heard of the new flavor “Nutchello”?
(Nutchello?) Nutchello Deez Nuts down your throat!
Did you hear about the space mission to Grabaria?
(Grabaria?) Grab-a-rear-and-plant-Deez-Nuts!
You know that new mobile game, Tapadia?
(Tapadia?) Tap Deez Nuts on your screen!
Did you see the news about the Sugondese King?
(Sugondese?) Suck on Deez Nuts — he rules!
Did you ever study under Professor Suckaria?
(Suckaria?) Suck on Deez Nuts for extra credit!
What did you think of the new update to Dragontia Online?
(Dragontia?) Drag-on Deez Nuts while you game!
Have you heard of the ninja warrior, Ligma-Chan?
(Ligma-Chan?) Lick Deez Nuts with honor!
Do you know the lyrics to that Sugma song?
(Sugma?) Suck on Deez Nuts, it’s catchy!
You’ve met the wizard, Candilorn, right?
(Candilorn?) Can Deez Nuts rest under your beard?
Did you meet the dragon from Bofaria?
(Bofaria?) Bofa Deez Nuts breathin’ fire!
Ever try the new yoga pose called Dragonheel?
(Dragonheel?) Drag-on Deez Nuts to your mat!
