If you’re nuts about laughter, you’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re a crunchy comedy fan or just looking to shell out a few smiles, these peanut jokes and puns are guaranteed to crack you up. Perfect for kids, and anyone who enjoys a little snack-sized humor, this collection will have you laughing so hard, you might just turn into peanut butter!
Peanut Jokes
How do peanuts say goodbye?
“Shell ya later!”
Why don’t peanuts ever tell secrets?
Because they might crack under pressure!
What kind of music do peanuts like?
Smooth jazz—or chunky rock!
Why was the peanut always picked last?
Because he was a little shellfish.
What did the peanut do at the talent show?
He did a little nut-cracking dance!
Why did the peanut cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken legume!
How do you make a peanut laugh?
Tell it a salty joke!
What’s a peanut’s favorite sport?
Nut-ball!
Why did the peanut go to space?
To become an astro-nut!
How do peanuts stay in shape?
They do crunches!
Why didn’t the peanut go skydiving?
He was afraid of going nuts!
What do you call a peanut with a cape?
A supeanut hero!
Why was the peanut proud of his report card?
He made all shell-ent grades!
What kind of peanut tells the best jokes?
A pun-nut!
Why was the peanut sitting alone at lunch?
He needed some personal shell-time.
What do you call a sleepy peanut?
A doze-nut.
What happened when the peanut ran for mayor?
He got roasted!
Why did the peanut blush?
Someone spread a rumor!
What do you call a peanut who likes to gossip?
A chat-nut!
What’s a peanut’s favorite party trick?
Shell magic!
What do peanuts dream about?
A world with no squirrels!
Why was the peanut good at math?
He really knew how to count shells!
What did the peanut say during the race?
“I’m nuts about winning!”
How do peanuts apologize?
“I’m sorry—I cracked under pressure!”
What’s a peanut’s favorite holiday?
Nutcracker Eve!
Why do peanuts make great friends?
They’re always there to shell out support!
Jokes About Peanut Butter
Why did the peanut butter go to therapy?
It couldn’t deal with being spread too thin!
Why was the peanut butter always calm?
It knew how to stick to the basics.
Why did the sandwich get in trouble?
It was caught spreading peanut butter gossip!
What do you call a peanut butter superhero?
Captain Crunchy!
What’s peanut butter’s favorite exercise?
Spreading lunges!
Why don’t peanut butter and pickles hang out?
Because they’re too different to gel.
Why was the peanut butter so popular?
Because it was always smooth!
How did the peanut butter become famous?
It had a lot of “spread” appeal!
What’s peanut butter’s favorite dance move?
The peanut shuffle!
Why did the peanut butter join a band?
It had great jam-ming skills!
How do you make a peanut butter laugh?
Tell it a nutty joke!
Why was the peanut butter jealous of jelly?
Because jelly always got the sweet compliments.
What do peanut butter and glue have in common?
They both stick around!
What’s peanut butter’s favorite holiday?
National Sandwich Day!
Why don’t peanut butter sandwiches get lost?
Because they always stick together!
Why did peanut butter join the debate team?
It loved to spread ideas!
What’s peanut butter’s dream job?
A motivational “spread-er.”
Why did the peanut butter blush?
Someone said it was smooth!
What does peanut butter do before bed?
Puts on its jammies!
How does peanut butter stay in shape?
It spreads its workouts over the week!
Why did the peanut butter fail its test?
It was stuck on one question!
What do you get when you cross peanut butter with comedy?
A nutty punchline!
What’s peanut butter’s favorite genre of music?
Smooth jazz!
Why did the peanut butter win the race?
Because it was on a roll!
Peanut Butter And Jelly Joke
What did jelly say to peanut butter at the party?
“Let’s stick together!”
Why did the peanut butter and jelly sandwich get promoted?
It always stuck to the job!
What’s PB&J’s favorite movie?
The Spreadfather.
Why did peanut butter and jelly take the bus?
They didn’t want to loaf around.
What’s peanut butter’s favorite kind of jelly?
Grape expectations!
Why did jelly get detention?
It couldn’t stay in line—it kept slipping!
Why was peanut butter worried about the test?
It didn’t want to get stuck.
What do you call a musical PB&J?
A jam session!
Why did the sandwich go to therapy?
It felt torn between peanut butter and jelly.
What do PB&J do on weekends?
They loaf around together!
What’s a PB&J’s favorite dance move?
The spread and slide!
Why did PB&J get an award?
For outstanding sandwich performance!
What did peanut butter say during the argument?
“Don’t make me lose my spread!”
Why don’t PB&J go skydiving?
They’re afraid they might fall apart!
Why did jelly dump peanut butter?
It was too clingy.
What did the bread say to PB&J?
“You complete me.”
Why did peanut butter get jealous?
Jelly started hanging with toast!
Why did PB&J get kicked out of the bakery?
For starting a food fight!
What kind of phone does PB&J use?
A SmartSpread!
What’s a PB&J’s favorite hobby?
Spreading joy!
Why didn’t jelly like the joke?
It found it too corny… like peanut butter.
Why did the bread sigh?
Because it was always in the middle of their drama!
Why did PB&J never go solo?
Because they’re better together!
Peanut Puns
I’m kind of a big shell around here.
You’re driving me nuts — in the best way!
I’m totally nuts about you.
Shell yeah, it’s peanut time!
This plan is totally nuts, and I love it.
Life’s better when you’re a little nutty.
I shell not be moved!
That idea cracked me up—it was nuts!
Peanut better believe it!
I’ve got a crunch on you.
Don’t make me lose my shell.
That was nut-hing short of amazing.
I’m nutshelling it for you: you’re awesome.
This is legume-dary!
You’re one tough nut to crack.
Don’t go nuts—just go with the flow.
Stay calm and eat peanuts.
I’m going absolutely nuts for this party!
Pea-nice to meet you!
You’re the peanut to my butter.
I can’t help falling in crunch with you.
Nut today, chaos—nut today.
That’s nuts and bolts thinking right there!
I’m nut-orious for my bad jokes.
Stop being so shellfish!
You make my heart crack.
Nut a care in the world!
Legume me your ears for a second.
You’re nuts-hing short of perfect.
Peanut Butter Puns
You’re the peanut butter to my everything.
Let’s stick together like peanut butter and toast.
Life’s smoother with a little peanut butter.
I’m nuts about you—and I’m not even jelly!
Spread love like peanut butter.
Don’t go nuts—just spread calm.
This friendship is smooth and crunchy!
Peanut butter: the original stick-up artist.
You’re totally butter than the rest.
Stay smooth and spread kindness.
I’m spreading good vibes, peanut butter style.
This day is nuts—in the tastiest way!
Feeling a little spread too thin today.
Peanut butter is my jam (sorry, jelly).
I butter not run out of peanut butter.
You spread joy wherever you go!
You’re my main spread.
Crunch time? Peanut butter’s got your back.
Too much peanut butter? That’s nuts!
I’m stuck on you—like peanut butter on the roof of my mouth.
Peanut butter is proof that simple things stick around.
Spread happiness, not just peanut butter.
That idea? Totally spread-tacular!
I’m in a jam, but peanut butter makes it better.
Smooth operator? Nah, I’m a peanut butter spreader!
Peanut Butter And Jelly Puns
We stick together like PB&J.
Our bond is smoother than peanut butter.
You’re my jelly-mate for life.
You spread joy like jelly on toast.
Without you, I’m just half a sandwich.
Let’s toast to our perfect pairing!
Together, we’re the ultimate lunchbox legends.
Life’s butter with you by my side.
You’re jelly-tastic and I’m nuttily in love!
Being with you just feels right—like PB&J on warm bread.
When we’re together, it’s always snack time.
We make every day a little tastier.
You’re the grape-est person I know.
I’ve got a spread-ing feeling you’re the one.
Our love story is totally sandwich-worthy.
You’re the only jelly that sticks in my heart.
This love? It’s deliciously sticky.
I’m nuts about you—and not afraid to admit it.
You make even my crusty days better.
I can’t spread the word enough: I adore you!
You make my heart feel like a full lunchbox.
We go together like… well, you know.
